Well, it's been a while since I've taken time to blog or write a post on or about the farm. To be honest, I took some time away from the farm. Not because I disliked the farm, but because I needed to step back and evaluate my priorities and goals. During my "break", I took a full-time job off of the farm. I met fantastic people and learned new skills. I recently returned to the farm work, not by choice, but by chance. So, I will take this time as an opportunity to cherish my true love . . . dirt.
When we obtained our farm nearly 7 years ago, it was purchased with the intent of preserving my families homestead and providing the same opportunity for my children. It hadn't been a farm for many years. The work required to just clean-up the property nearly killed me and definitely tested the bonds of marriage and sanity of parenting. It continues to be an ongoing battle with the hundreds of tasks which still have yet to be completed. I've resigned myself to prioritizing things which will have the best outcome long-term and relieve us of repetitive work.
We started "market farming" while both my husband and I held down full-time jobs and were raising 2 young kids and a teenager. We made the mutual decision for me to begin staying at home full-time to better raise our children and be "present". As I worked in the fields side-by-side with my children, my mind began to see the potential this land could yield. So began the journey of developing larger garden plots, more varieties of vegetables and participating in programs to sustain such an endeavor.
This plight was exhausting and lonely.
After a time I realized the love-hate relationship I had as a producer of food. I wanted to produce the best of the best, open new possibilities for those who may or may not have tried a true farm-fresh vegetable and to do so with integrity. I wanted to preserve what my grandparents and their grandparents before them had worked so hard to provide for our generation. I wanted a sustainable life on the farm. And most importantly, I wanted my children to love the farm and all it has to offer.
What I did though, was opposite. I moved away from my goals and found myself spiraling into emptiness. I lost my love for producing food because I no longer produced what was important . . . at least in my view. I needed to find my "groove" again.
I stepped away and became an outsider looking in, so as to gain perspective.
I don't know what this next year will bring, but I do know that I have spent the last month just loving the farm and all it has to offer. Digging in the dirt, preparing it for winter and upcoming spring plantings, cooking and preparing what our farm has to offer and just appreciating these moments.
My children are a bit older now and have been requesting that they have an opportunity to work this land that their grandparents loved. How can I say no to that? I simply can't. What I can do is teach them how to truly care for the land and produce what they love.
Maybe all the hard work that was invested wasn't for nothing. Maybe, just maybe, it was for something bigger than I could have envisioned.
So, until next time . . . thank you for always supporting our farm family and all the life changes we experience. It truly is a blessing to be part of such a community.
